Saturday, March 24, 2007
GIRLS HAVE THEIR OWN WAY OF GETTING THIER DAD TO SIGN THIER REPORT CARDSA father passing by his teenaged daughter's bedroom was dumbfounded to see the bed was nicely arranged and everything was neat and uncluttered.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst presentiment, he opened the envelope and read the letter with shaky hands.
Beloved Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you this letter, but I'm leaving home. I had to run off with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant. Randy wants me to have the kid and live happily together.
Even though Randy is only 42, and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has many other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own ways. He wants me to bore many children’s with me and that's one of my dreams too.
Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Susie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters " PTO".
Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS:
Dad, none of the above mentioned in the letter is true. I'm over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.I love you!
Your loving daughter,
Susie
